One of the new groups that I am following on FaceBook is called The Mighty, a media site about those living with disability. The stories are generally very uplifting. One of the posts that I read the other day was a bit different, My Positivity Failed Me Today by The Latchkey Mom. And I thought…yeah that just makes you human.
As those closest to me know, my own Polly Anna positivity has failed me. Not just for a day, but for the better part of a month as I battle a severe injustice. I will be honest…I have gotten my butt kicked by stress. So much so that I spent Thursday to Sunday in bed sick.
I realized just how badly all of this was getting to me today as I sat down to plan. One way that I keep myself sane is to keep a journal of monthly and weekly goals and objective. I review it every Sunday and set new goals for the next week. And then at the end of the month I review it seriously to see how many of my monthly goals I have accomplished. The month of March has been horrendous. I got very little done as this thing kept creeping up again and again. Worst of all, I have gotten next to nothing written, even though I know that the only way I will ever give PanKwake the future that she deserves is by making it as an author. So this has to stop…I have to get back on track.
But the thing is that yesterday was Easter and while I am no longer a preacher’s wife and not even sure what I believe any more, we can all learn something from this day. We all have the power within us to rise again…if not from physical death then most certainly from this type of emotional/spiritual pit. So that is how I celebrated Easter…by dragging my tail out of bed and cleaning half my house. By making the decision…No More!
This war against injustice that I fight may be far from over BUT I will not allow it to consume me. So bright and early this morning I got up and wrote. Now I only got a few hundred words written when usually I can do three-thousand in a day. But it is a start. What is more, I have written new goals for April and for this week. In some small ways we can all emulate Jesus…we can push the stones that hold us back aside…and face the new day. We can create a new life…whenever we want. A fresh start. And today is mine…